Mayology 101

My Vision Board

2011-12-16T02:54:00.004+08:00

When Words Get In The Way...

2011-08-03T02:15:00.004+08:00

Let me tell you something very personal…

I’m very sensitive with words…. I tend to take them very seriously that I oftentimes feel offended with even the slightest jokes or statements. Due to my calm and controlled nature, I tend to just shut-up and keep quiet whenever I encounter such ordeal...but deep inside me, a scar has been left.

For me, the measure of how educated a person is, is by the actions and choice of words which he/she utters. Everybody goes to school… it’s mandatory. There is no excuse to be illiterate in this age. Yet still, many people haven’t grasped the essence of being an “educated” person.

It is good to be straight forward from time to time but you have to express it the best way possible. I agree to my friend’s dad with the statement “There’s always a better way of saying things.” It’s just a play of words. Your choice of words can make or break relationships you see? And the worst thing is that most of the time, we tend to be so insensitive with what we’ve said. Little do we realize that we are already pushing precious people away from us… People who genuinely care for us.. By these irresponsible actions we slowly kill their spirits. And then in the future we later wonder why they left us.

blurting out my feelings a little...

I know that you yourself have been a victim of this for countless times. I really hate hearing people giving you hints in a jokingly manner (~~nagpaparinig~~)… then you just smile and pretend like you didn’t care ‘coz you still had the decency to show them respect. I wish I had the courage to talk back =(

You see, as brave as I may seem, I do find myself very much afraid of confrontations most of the time so I just keep my mouth shut. How I wish that someone would stand up and defend me for once. I really would like to know how it feels to be protected. =(

I’m still very saddened with what I heard…but I expect no apologies. In my dreams! In these times, I have nobody to turn to but only myself. I’ve somehow managed to not to rely on anyone.

Beneath this intimidating mask is a little girl in need of some affection and understanding. A longing to somehow feel worthy and appreciated … All I do, is do my best to grow and rise above the weeds which surround me, yet they still make efforts to drag me down the pits!

I really don’t expect those guilty ones to change… I know it’s all gonna be on how I react on their every attack. I don’t wanna pretend to be strong for I feel very much oppressed with no one to rescue me. =(

Let me introduce you to my demon:

What’s new Mae? You should be used to these hurtful words by now….and never ever expect that someone would defend you! They’re too busy running their own lives… hiding their secrets…. building more and more lies that they don’t have any room for you! You will still be forgotten Mae, just like another facebook status posted on a wall that has been pushed to the abyss by newer worldly ideas…. Put an end to your weird ideas which nobody cares about and face the horrid facts of life. You’re not as special as you think! End your life now.. what difference does it make anyway? You’re not meant to be here! NOBODY cares about you! You’re a lunatic Mae!

….. this is what I would hear in my head most of the time which I often try to defeat. Sometimes, I’m even convinced by the truth of these statements yet still, I manage to somehow reason with myself just to keep it all going.

stop or go?

I would have to admit that I’m still impaled with the statements. I am not a superwoman where I’m supposed to show bravery all the time. I do have my set of weaknesses which I’m not ashamed of…

I also have the right to cry at times....

I wish people would be more sensitive next time.... =(

Tips Para Sa Mga Girsl!!!

2011-06-29T15:36:00.001+08:00

Aaminin ko, lagi ako naiinis sa mga kababaihan these days to the point na minsan naisip ko kung babae nga ba talaga ko? Dami kseng kaartehan!
Di ko na magets! Pero syempre I know I'm a girl. No doubt! Pero hindi naman ako uber arte! hay nako!

kapag naiirita!

Hindi ako experto sa pag-ibig. Lately ko lang nadiskubre na isa kong babaeng torpe. Lakas pala ng loob huh? Wala! Wala! Siguro kse kapag alam mong totoo na, shet! Basta shet! Yun na yun!
Out of words ang loka! Grrrrr

Ewan ko ba kung baket lagi nalang ako napapagtanungan ng mga bagets sa FB tungkol sa pag-ibig! hahahahaha Ano bang meron saken?
Mukha bakong DJ? Feeling ko minsan shock absorber ako sa dami ng problemang nasasagap ko on a regular basis. Dapat nga yata nag-psychologist nalang ako, baka yumaman pa ko. Anyway, wala din naman akong ibang pinapayo.. most of the time nakikinig lang ako.

Pansin ko, karamihan sa mga babae... hay nako.... me problema sa insecurity nila. They don't feel contented with their relationships 'coz they're always demanding more from their bf. At the first few months, they fall in-love and have fun. Some even sleep with them (after a month) right away and get lots and lots of sex. But after let's say 3-6months, they become demanding. They become overly needy and needs to be constantly re-assured. Me mga patesting-testing pang nalalaman at may pahirit-hirit pa na, "I think you don't really love me!" They start to doubt their bfs and make a big deal out of petty issues. In short, they turn into nagging bitches! O diba nakakainis no? Kung ikaw nga naman ang bf, gusto mo ba ng ganun? Lagi kang dinadramahan ng gf mo? Pathetic!

Hay, it all boils down to insecurity. Kung confident at secure ka sa sarili mo, walang space para sa mga thoughts na nega... You'll just be so busy making your partner happy... making both of you happy and make the love grow and grow. Ganun dapat. A relationship should give you happiness... hindi lang sexually pero much much deeper than that. I know madaming tests na pagdadaanan... pero yun yung mga magpapatibay ng samahan. Totoo yun!

Eto girls ang mga tips ko para senyo. Again, I'm not an expert but this might help so you'd feel less insecure and look less desperate in front of your man.

kanya kanyang trip lang yan!

1. Be Confident- aaminin ko, minsan selosa din ako.. pero sakto lang. Syempre kapag love mo isang tao, imposibleng di ka magselos. Pero dapat nasa lugar. At kung nafifeel mo yun, don't be afraid to tell your man once. Again.. ONCE! Wag paulit-ulit. Nakakaurat yun I'm telling you! Once na nasabi mo na, if he really cares about you, he'll find a way to make you not jealous. Minsan kse baka di lang nila napapansin so dapat, aware sila.. so tell them straight up.Walang drama.. walang paawa effect na laos na sa takilya ok? If he still flirts with other women at alam mo ibang level na... that's your signal! EXIT KA NA! Di mo kelangan ng ganun lalo na kung alam mong faithful ka sa kanya.

2. Huwag magkita araw araw! - Pramis! I swear! I know madami sa inyo ay adik na adik at laging gusto dumikit sa inyong bf... pero wag. Baket? Nakakasakal! Tao din naman sya na may sariling buhay.... give yourselves space.... room to grow! Maganda din yung namimiss nyo ang isa't isa para exciting! hahahha

3. Get a LIFE! - Pursue your dreams and support him in his as well. You should also do other things aside from thinking of him. Get a hobby, go out with friends. Explore! Have fun! A relationship should free you and never chain you in one place or with one person. Magpakabusy ka sa ibang bagay na worthwhile.. in short, develop yourself. Kapag nakita ng bf mo na happy ka sa ginagawa mo, he'll be more supportive of you not to mention, maiiwasan mo din magdemand ng time nya.

my student Melody drew this for me

4. Let Him Be - Give your man space. Never control him! FYI: tao ang bf mo ok? Wag kang umasa na 24/7 syang dikit syo.. linta ang tawag sa ganun! Kung trip nya magdota, fine! Makipaglaro ka din (favorite hero ko si Barathrum)! Kung trip nyang makipag-inuman sa mga tropa nya minsan... go go go! Hayaan mo syang mag-enjoy. You don't have to join him always and I don't advice you to do so.... give him his space. But always make him feel loved. Reassure mo din syang andyan ka for him.

5. Know your role - Ano nga ba ang role naten? Lalo na tayong mga girls... alam natin dapat ang ating roles bilang babae. We should know how to serve our man... and let them be men! Ganun ang magandang partnership... dapat suportahan! Let them lead.. kaya nila yan! Make them feel good about themselves. We should also learn on how to handle them para syempre they will respect us as women. Never ever make them feel inferior (nobody wants that). Stop nagging and try to be more sensitive with his feelings. Wag silang i-overpower... respect his pride. We should know our place in the animal kingdom. If you want to make your point.. do it in a loving way.

6. Feed your mind- magbasa-basa din kyo... wag maging bobo ok? Be informed, manindigan. Una, panget sa babae ang bobo. Maganda ka nga..sexy and all.. sunod ka nga sa uso. Me i-pad ka nga... wala namang laman utak mo? Ay kaderder! Ano naman ang pag-uusapan ninyo kung wala kang alam? Aside from sexual intercourse, there is this thing called mental intercouse. Most of the time, you'll be verbally interacting with your mate so it pays to feed your coconut. Physical beauty fades in time....

e kung ganyan ka talaga! Be yourself!

7. Be yourself - I-appreciate mo kung ano ang meron ka. Be contented with what you got. Wag mong hanapin yung mga bagay na wala syo. Kung natural kang morena, then love it! Kung mala ita ang iyong buhok... so what? ikaw yan e! kahit paulit-ulit mo pang iparebond yan... hay! ambot! Isa pa, wag maging mapang-panggap... baket? Halata e! Pramis! Hindi kse natural! At hindi bagay... for the simple reason na hindi yan ikaw. Kaya nga dba sbi ko, dapat idevelop ang sarili. Wag gaya-gaya!

8. Be honest - Sus! very basic sa GMRC pero madami parin ang sumesemplang dito! Be honest at least to yourself. Lalabas at lalabas din yan sa huli. Syempre there should be honesty in a relationship. Kapag naglie ka sa partner mo, ang hirap na ire-build ang trust. Trust is something very very important in a relationship. If you trust eachother, there will be no room for jealousy. I say you should both build trust on the 1st few months. Make him feel secure and loved. Do not resent him or make him feel "not enough." Kung love mo sya, iparamdam mo na syang sya talaga!

9. About Sex- I strongly advice na wag muna makipag intercourse agad agad. Pigilan mo! Itali mo sarili mo! Remember, it is a sacred act. Love is sacred. Do it at the proper time. Ideally when you get married. Kapag hindi mo na talaga mapigilan, well, bahala ka na sa buhay mo! hahaha Joke! Do it with only your partner.. wag maging pok pok. bad yun! Wag kung kani-kanino. Respect yourself girl! Your body is not a toy! Respect your partner as well. It's not all about the sex, though isang part yun... connection yun e (not just physically but in a much deeper sense). Basta laging tandaan. Be Responsible and make it very very romantic...hindi lang puro you know! Korny kaya nun! hahahahhaha

bye bye make-up

10. Be Simple - Dati, hindi ako makalabas ng bahay ng walang make-up. Feeling ko noon, I have to put color on my face to look pretty until narealize ko na beauty radiates from within. Ngayon, kahit wala akong make-up, I feel much more pretty sa totoo lang. It is how you feel from the inside. Walang effort. Kung ano man ako, tanggap ko at mahal na mahal ko ang buong pagkatao ko. If you practice this, your partner will definitely feel it and will be happy of course. Do it for yourself girl! Alamin mo yung mga bagay na essential. It pays to have a good attitude and mindset. You'll earn not only your partner's respect but others as well.

most important of all ... LOVE yourself. LOVE the REAL YOU and all else will follow. Fill yourself with love... and when you are overflowing with it... natural nalang ang lahat. You'll have more than enough love to share. Respect yourself girl! Kapag pinakita mo sa bf mo na karespe-respeto ka, mas gagalangin ka nya believe me. You must know what you want but be sure to respect him as well. If you love him, you will respect him... automatic na yun. Why would you hurt the one you love dba?

Mga reyna tayo remember! We should be treated like queens! Pero syempre we have to show them na queenly nga tyo! Regal! Sophisticated, hindi cheap! Hindi mga desperada! Hindi basta basta. Lady like! Poised parin. Educated, fun to be with. Make them proud na tyo ang girl nila! We're more than just trophies! Gets?

Akong AKO!

2011-06-28T17:21:00.002+08:00

Time out muna ulit sa inglisan...
Meron nga pala akong personal blog... ngayon ko lang ulit nadalaw!

busy eating

Hindi naman talaga ko nawala.. mejo nalipat lang ang atensyon ko.
Nagdecide kse ko last month na mejo maging serious sa food blogging at
food photography kaya gumawa ako ng ibang blog exclusively for food. Ayoko naman
kse dito ipost kse nakakahiya naman na mabasa ng buong mundo ang mga
kaemohan ko! ahehehe.

Masarap din palang balikan at basahin yung mga nakaraan kong entries.
Ganun pala ko magsulat! Pati ako nagugulat sa sarili ko minsan!

simple

Wala akong pinag-sisisihansa mga nasulat ko dahil alam kong totoo ang lahat ng 'yon.
Kahit gano pa kakorny o ka-emo... hello? Lahat naman tyo may ganung time....
at walang masama sa pagpapaka-totoo.

Looking back.... ibang-iba na ko ngayon. Ok nga kse it's a sign of growth. A better and better
Mae habang tumatagal. Naachieve ko na din yung gusto kong mafeel....
yung maging AKO..... AKONG AKO!
Karamihan ng mga tao, mga titles, fame at material things ang mga nais maachieve, ako, gusto ko lang kilalanin ang sarili ko at magawa ang mga bagay na nakapagpapasaya at magbubuo ng katauhan ko.

Naranasan ko na ang sobrang malungkot.... kaya ngayon dapat sobrang saya naman!
Fair naman ang buhay e, nasatin lang talaga kung pano natin dadalhin ang mga sarili natin.
Kung feel mo na lagi ka nalang bigo, payo ko, kilalanin mo nalang muna ang sarili mo...
baka meron tayong dapat baguhin. Bobo lang ang magsasabing hindi na sya kailanman
magbabago. Dapat matuto tayong sumunod sa "natural law." The only constant thing is life is
change. Matuto tayo dapat sumabay sa agos. Sumabay in a sense na dapat nating tanggapin
ang mga pangyayari sating buhay... hindi yung tipong sabay ka nalang lagi sa uso.. sa mga
nakararami. Hindi porke uso na e maganda na. Hindi po kailangang sumunod sa uso kundi
mo ito feel talaga. Matuto sana tayong manindigan sa mga gusto natin.

Katulad kahapon, habang nakaharap ako sa salamin at nagsusuklay... sabi ko sa buhok ko,
"baket hindi ka tumitino, kahit anong suklay ko, kumukulot ka parin?" sagot naman ni buhok,

loving my curly hair

"e sa gusto ko e!" ok fine curly! You win! Dapat tanggapin ko nalang yun.... law of nature!
Natural na kumulot ang hair ko.. FINE! Sa isang banda.. at least di ko na kelangang pumunta sa salon
para magpakulot dba? Ang mahal kaya nun! Narealize ko, mas ok nga ganito ang hair ko.... ang cute nga e!
Karamihan sa mga Pinoy ang "ideal girl" para sa kanila ay yung mga petite, chinita, tisay, mahaba ang buhok,
nakarebond, sexy, mahinhin, hindi nagsasalita.... in short, HALAMAN!! ahahahha Madami din dyang mga girls, nagpapanggap maging "cool" at "matalino" kuno para magpacute sa mga boys! Puro nalang boys! As if mamamatay sila kapag walang boys na pumupuri sa kanila! che! Pero hay.... lalabas din ang tunay in the long run I'm sure!! As in!

ako na ang clown ng buhay mo!

E pano naman ako nyan? average lang ang height ko, hindi ako chinita, morena, kulot ang buhok, walang balak
magparebond, chubby (pero almost pang FHM na), boyish, cowboy, hindi kikay at madaldal... hmmm
E ano naman ngayon? E AKO ITO Eh! Puro panlabas lang naman ang mga to...
I know my worth.. I know my value.. I know who I am.. I stand for what I believe in. I'm perfect the way I am. I am ME!

Madalas, nahihiwagaan ako sa sarili ko at sa mga kakayahan ko. Hindi man ako,
yung tipong malihim at puno ng mysteryo dahil sa aking "expressive" nature....
mayroon akong natatagong mysteryo saking katauhan na kahit ako mismo ay pilit paring inaalam.
Marahil dahil may mga bagay akong bigla-biglang nagagawa at naiisip.... kung ano man ang mga
ito... atin nalang abangan.Expect the unexpected! Magaling kaya ko sa mga sorpresa!! Thrilling diba?

Anyway, naisip ko, cge I'd still post here at my personal blog from time to time.... Kapag feel ko!
Ke may makabasa o wala (sana wala).... keri lang! wala ko pake!!!

sikwet muna syempre!

Sa ngayon, busy-busihan ako sa pagsulat ng mga liriko para sa mga bago kong kanta.
Aaminin ko, madalas wala akong maisulat sa dami ng mga naiisip ko... nakakaaliw nga e.
Nagfo-flow nalang ang ideas bigla pero mejo hindi pa ko satisfied, alam ko may mga igaganda pa.
Naisip ko gawan ng kanta yung ex ko, pero naisip ko din na waste of time lang. Id' rather write
something happy. Ayoko na magdwell sa painful past. Graduate na ko dun e. Kung gagawa man ako, it would be some sort of thanks to him for setting me free. Hinding hindi ko matutuklasan ang sarili ko kundi kme naghiwalay. Masasabi kong mas masaya na ko ngayon and I wanna wish him love and happiness kse yun naman ang deserve nating lahat. Kaya eto,
karamihan ng mga nasususulat ko, puro tungkol sa mga tao sa paligid ko. Mga mensaheng tanging
sa awitin ko lang mailalabas. Hindi ako experto sa pagsulat ng kanta. Alam kong madaming-madami
pa kong dapat pag-aralan. Hindi ako teknikal na tao, kung ano ang nasa puso ko, sinusulat ko. I will still do my best as always!

MAYO

Birthday Holiday!

2011-05-15T01:44:00.001+08:00

lunch at Pizza Hut

Let me tell you on how I celebrated my birthday this year....

You see, days before the big day, I felt very down. I'm used to having the birthday blues. I dunno... probably 'coz I have this feeling that no one would remember me etc....I know it ain't true (just look at the greetings a got on my wall. I even suffered from a migraine that day due to too much text messages).

It wasn't until May 9th that I thought of an agenda for the big day. I had a couple of plans... I wanted to go to a hat factory to buy a chic fascinator. I even tried calling some restos for table reservations but deep inside, I really didn't know what to do. All I knew that time was I wanted to be with the right people and that I wanted that day to be stress free and simple.

May 10th came and I was glad that the sun came out finally after the recent typhoon which came to the country! I invited Badeth to have lunch and hopefully think of something to do. I felt glad when she told me Frank was to join us after his shift. I really thought he won't make it. Too bad Michelle couldn't join us due to some family matters.
Anyway, and so there we were, the 3 of us... hanging out at Pizza Hut Bistro, chowing on some Carbonara Pizza, Raviolis and Cheese Puffs while chatting like crazy and shared some good laughs.

cheese puffs

I'm glad Badeth came

ravoili

carbonara pizza

havin' a great time...

After eating, Frank invited us to the arcade. I may say, it's been a long time since I last went to the arcade so what the heck!? I'm always game for anything! He mentioned about this game that was addicting.... I felt excited and a little scared for I knew he would easily influence us to be addicts as well! hehehe
The 3 of us happily marched down the arcade and as soon as we entered, he asked me to pick the prize I wanted. I picked the cute pig stuffed toy 'coz it looked so cuddly! hehehehe Frank then had some bills converted into 1 peso coins and we were all set!

I used to be a Doraemon fan...

picking my gift...

weeeee! so hapeee!!

frank with his magic coin!

meet Booby!!

And yes! As expected.... we were instantly hooked! ahahahaha we inserted the coins one by one as the machine rolled out its tickets. We were dead serious to get as many as we could! ahahahahah after God knows how long, we finally decided to stop and gathered all the tickets!! Weeeeee!! I think we got more than 3500 points so he asked me to pick another prize! Yey! Yey!! This time, I chose the cute garfield doll! I got 2 dolls that day! Thanks to Frank and Badeth! I named the pig Booby and the garfield doll after Frank!

with coach

we won a couple of these

heheheh evidence

highly addictive

keep em coming!!!

Booby was thrilled!!!

certified addicts!!

waaaahhh loads of tickets!

hehehehe

I can't believe we got all these

busy counting the tickets

woooohoooo! my 2nd doll! Meet Frank and Booby!

When I got home, mom gave me her gift. It was a simple emerald rosary. She chose emerald after the gem for my birth month. It was lovely and I liked it a lot. Of course she gave it to me so I will never forget to call on God.

never run out of faith

Friday came and it was time to treat my team for some afternoon snacks...
I ordered a special local noodle dish called Pancit Lucban at a famous Pancit Lucban resto along with some other finger foods. We bought some balloons and placed it on our stations. I wanted to hold a mustache party but I didn't find enough free time to make some mustaches that day. Anyway, the day turned out to be great! I also got some gifts from them...

a simple feast

delicious pancit Lucban

my birthday card filled with wishes

me and my officemate Ace

with my boss Elly

with kuya Albert!

with Naomi!

the gifts I got... a hat and a glam necklace

I believe with the huge amount of friends I have, this is gonna be a month long celebration for sure! hehehe
I got teary eyed when I saw the greetings and wishes of friends and supporters on my facebook wall. I was really touched! I really felt loved!

31 is the new 21

Age is just a number... I'm thankful to have reached this age. I'm thankful because I'm physically and mentally stable. I'm thankful because I have a set of friends to die for. I don't really feel old and all my friends tell me I don't look like 31 at all due to the happy vibe I got! I wonder what's in store for me this year....

Plans? yeah I do.... but not grand ones for now. I'm just taking it easy. I'm even at a point wherein I feel I wanna retire from singing on stage and just write songs instead. I wanna be more serious is taking pictures for now... my aim is to be more simple and be more true to myself. Gone are the days where I always grave for weekend gimmiks, gigs and alcohol. Nowadays, I'm rediscovering the homebody in me. I'm happy doing chores and cooking meals for friends. Last year, I wanted to be so glam and fab but this time, I just wanna stick on where I'm comfortable... to stay as simple yet sophisticated as possible. Simplicity is elegance...

I just wanna be ME!

31 Lessons

2011-05-14T16:59:00.000+08:00

31? u must be kidding me!

As I add another year to my crazy beautiful life, I couldn't help but reflect on the things which I've learned as well as the things which I'm thankful for. =)

I didn't live an easy life.... but I may say that those ups and downs have made this 31-year existence really remarkable with all the places I've seen, struggles surpassed and people whom I have crossed paths with. Each with their own lessons to learn and memories to keep.

I know I'm far from being a life expert ( and I don't intend to be one). I know I still have a lot of things to learn and lessons to share. I'm thankful for having established a good reputation over the years by being a role model to some. I'm grateful that many people appreciate my works and value the advices which I give them.

So for this week's entry, I've decided to list down and share to you 31 valuable life lessons/realizations which I learned over the years...

1. .. that VICTORY is much SWEETER when you worked hard to achieve it

2. .. that problems must be dealt HEAD ON.

3. .. that we must learn to be RESPONSIBLE for our actions.. face them with a head up high

live, love and laugh

4. .. we may claim and think that other people always try to pull us down and never want to see us succeed but the truth is.... the only person hindering us is only OURSELVES

5. .. that GENUINE KINDNESS goes a looooong way

6. .. that we should never be afraid to say I LOVE YOU and show people how much we care!

7. .. that we should learn to APPRECIATE and value the people who choose to stay with us

8. .. age doesn't equal to wisdom. There are many elders who are still shallow and immature

9. .. that we should always make our parents PROUD and feel loved. Family first!

10. .. that saying sorry is never an act of weakness. we should never be ruled by selfish pride

11. .. physical beauty fades in time..so building a strong foundation of friendship is a lasting bond

12. .. always strive to live with HONESTY. It really pays to live a life with INTEGRITY.

13. .. strive to know yourself and develop your innate gifts, always spend alone time with yourself to clear your thoughts and ponder

14. .. that TIME is so precious that we should spend it wisely

appreciate the people around you

15. .. always keep in mind that whenever you're DOWN, there's no other way to go but UP!!!!

16. ..that we must learn on how to control ourselves especially with the things which we
know are harmful for us.

17. ..we must know when to fight as well as on how to gracefully accept defeat

18. .. that our most valuable asset is our MIND. We should invest in our minds more than our bodies.

19. .. that we should never settle for less. We all deserve to be treated well!

20. .. that we must choose our friends WISELY and the people we tell our secrets to

21. .. that we must strive to have a least 1 worthwhile hobby to make life more exciting

22. .. that it's never too late to develop a skill. Age is just a number!

23. .. that sex is GOOD and a SACRED act!

24. .. that we should always reward ourselves for working hard and being good

25. .. that we should always carry a pocketful of CONFIDENCE anywhere we go

26. ..that we don't have control over other people but only ourselves

value relationships

27. .. that we should never underestimate people or judge a person with what they wear... every person having a decent job deserves RESPECT

28. .. keeping a low profile and staying HUMBLE is best! Nothing beats a simple life!

29. .. that we should stay LOYAL and faithful to relationships which are worth keeping

30. .. that you should not be afraid to stand up for what you BELIEVE in

31. .. that being BEAUTIFUL is a choice, and that we should always choose it!

in full bloom

31 years..... but it seems I've just started living. I know I have a long long way to go. More people to meet...
more lives to touch..
.......but with only one set of lips to kiss.

If there is something I'd like to promise myself right now... I believe that would be
to never stop trying...
to never stop hoping...
to never stop dreaming and to

NEVER stop LOVING!

and the journey goes on.....

All For Mum.....

2011-05-01T22:33:00.050+08:00

I may say that I'm now at the stage of enlightenment. Thank God for the things which transpired which led me to where I am today. As I said in my previous post, I chose to be in this insanely exhausting situation in order to train myself and appreciate things more.

soy milk and fruit every morning to gimme the boost

To give you an idea about my work schedule now, here's my daily agenda:

4am: wake-up time
4:10am : shower
4:30am : walk to the office
4:45am: time-in
5:20am: call 1st student
9:00am: go back home
9:15am: sleep
12:30pm: wake up /shower
1pm: get dressed / prepare lunch
1:30pm walk to work
2-11pm work
11:30pm arrive home
12mn: sleep

~~~~ this is my daily routine.

As you can see, I don't have free time anymore. Just work and home. I don't get the full rest which most of you enjoy (not to mention take for granted). I have to endure this in order to earn a few pesos more and I wanna experience how it is to work like crazy. Due to this, I have more respect to people who work really hard to make ends meet. Exhausting as it may seem, this is only temporary so don't worry.

On my latest payday, I felt very happy to see a slightly higher figure in my payslip. It made me so proud to have endured such stress. All the days of shivering, palpitations, headaches and sleep hours I've missed all paid off. Most of all, I was glad to have the extra cash to treat my mom.

I've learned to appreciate my mom more these days. Big realization for me. We sort of had a misunderstanding the past weeks due to her weird behavior. After thinking and analyzing stuff and with the help of one of my students, I've come to realize why she was acting that way. It hit me really hard!

My mom is a simple woman who have struggled all her life. Many are not aware but she graduated in one of the best universities in asia (Tokyo University- so never underestimate her), yet she remains to humble herself to the point that most of her so-called friends and even relatives ridicule and mock her for not being financially able. It hurts to see people looking down at her and treat her like a helper so I have this tendency to always protect her and sometimes even do the fighting myself. We are not financially rich. I've depended on my grandma and dad for my schooling most of my life and I also had to work to support myself.

we love trying out new stuff

she was the one who exposed me to gourmet stuff

we love cheeses!

After my parents separated... mom continued to work in real estate but never did she aim for success and riches. More often she would have no income. She also did not aim to marry again for she said she wanted to focus on me and taking care of pets. She did not pursue her passions in music, photography and in literature for she just wanted me to do them all instead. She's my teacher. She taught me how to cook, write and dream... an artist in her own right. Most of the time, I wondered why she seemed to have lost interest in life....'coz I never saw her pursue her dreams. Whenever we would talk about her dreams though, she would tell me she would like us to have our own business like a bakery, a cozy cafe or a studio someday. I am always included in her dreams.

Before, I got so frustrated at her because she seemed to stop living and just waited for doomsday.
But in reality, she never really stopped living... I am her life.
And the reason why she tends to overly treat me like a baby is because essentially, I'm the only one she's got. I'm her investment... her masterpiece. Upon realizing these things, I broke down in tears and felt sooo sorry.

we both love shopping for cookwares

I realized how selfish I was for neglecting her the past years... for trying to escape from her. All she did was give...but I just gave back a little. She wanted all the best for me... she wanted me to be comfortable. She didn't mind sleeping on a tougher bed just as long as I was comfortable with a softer one. She didn't mind doing the laundry for me despite having detergent allergies resulting for having damaged and rough hands only for me to wear clean clothes. I realized that she never experienced someone doing the laundry for her. I was away for so long... how could I be sooo selfish all these years? I knew we were close because we would often talk and would be very open to each other.... but I never appreciated the little things which she's been doing all my life. I now realize that though having open communications with your folks is vital, still, nothing beats physical efforts to show appreciation. Though she would often tell me how proud she is of me and how good of a daughter I am, I still feel I haven't done much to make her feel comfortable.

She wanted to have pesto

She likes PizzaHut a lot!

my messy plate

This realization fueled me to work harder and not mind squeezing in doing extra chores for her despite my crazy work schedule. The following day, as I saw the piling laundry, I told her I'd gladly do it for her and told her I didn't want her to be stressed out. On my payday, I asked her out to go shopping. She's also a big fan of fancy cookwares and plates so we took a trip to the kitchenware section. Unfortunately, the serving bowl she wanted was already out of stock so we better go back next time. I took her to the grocery to buy her needs. This week, I did not buy stuff for myself... I still have enough. I just wanted to make her feel that I care. She chose all sorts of candy bars, cookies and snacks as well as her personal needs. We shopped for some gourmet items. She was the one who exposed me to gourmet stuff and cooking. I didn't mind spending extra for the things which will satisfy her. After that she wanted to have some pizza and pesto at Pizzahut. Though I know more restos with better tasting pizzas and pastas, I didn't really insist for I wanted her to feel like the boss on that day. We surely pigged out that time... but I never really mind gaining the extra weight for I can always go on a diet if I want to. After dining, we celebrated my camera's birthday (check out my previous post).

I love my mom, I love her for who she is, but I may say that I love her more today and I'm happy to be spending more time with her. She may not be known to many, she may not be an achiever, she may not be wearing nice fitting clothes or have spending power, she may not be the ideal mom but I love her all the same and she deserves much love and respect.

Whoever I am today, I owe it all to her!

the wind beneath my wings

Yesterday, she expressed that she hopes to see me settling down someday with a man worthy of my love. She hopes I can find a good man to take care of me. I struggled not to show any tears.. I was really touched. I pray that whoever that man would be, I hope he would also love and respect my mom as well.

So for this Labor Day holiday, I'd like to dedicate this post to all of you who work hard day in and day out for your loved ones. We are the heroes of today and we deserve all the happiness the world has to offer. May our loved ones inspire us more to succeed in life so we can give them the best. I'm proud to belong to the working class. I take pride with what I do!

the breakfast I made for mum

Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of me to you once again and this time a piece of my mom as well. I hope this entry would inspire you to appreciate your parents more. If you have neglected or have been treating your parents badly, well shame on you! It's not the end though, now is the perfect time to change. It's never too late to show them love and appreciation.
Have a wonderful week ahead!

God Bless!

love always,
Mae

Maggie Turns 1!!!

2011-05-01T03:19:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Maggie

This weekend was extra special....

I finally found the time to celebrate the 1st birthday of my camera Maggie! I know it may look insane.. Why the hell do I have to celebrate an object's birthday?.. and why did I give my camera a name in the 1st place? In Filipino, I'd say, "PAKE MO?" (Why should you care?") Hehehehe

Many people have asked me for quite some time and my answer would always be the same. I give names to my things because I treat them as my friends. I value them a lot because I worked hard to afford them with my own sweat and tears. As I've written in my past entries, I don't have many possessions. I'm not a big fan of the latest gadgets. I'm not luxurious when it comes to fashion. I only buy the things which I know are essential for my development. I choose practicality over style.

Anyways, as you know, I've been working like crazy lately. Last week, I thought I was gonna die. I already had some dreams wherein people were telling me I was gonna do so (probably due to soaring stress levels). Fortunately, with enough moral support and optimism... I'm still A-OK! I'm actually starting to enjoy it! I'm learning a lot of valuable lessons (I will write a separate article about it). It was not until I saw my payslip when I realized, I earned a few extra cash. I can somehow save extra now to buy extra stuff for my hobbies and to make mum happy!


mum

For Maggie's 1st birthday, I've decided to buy a new sleeker bag. I wasn't satisfied by the big bulky ugly bag from Nikon. It looked too obvious that I was carrying a camera so I find it unsafe to bring outside. I bought a triangular camera sling bag fit for my telefoto lens. Also, I bought a huge 5 in 1 reflector so I can take better outdoor shots next time! I'm so excited for my next outdoor shoot! I must invite Krissy again! I'm currently trying to watch some instructional videos on how to use reflectors... I believe I need to try it out myself.

my gifts: a new bag and reflector

perfect fit!

Hmmmm Another reason why I wanted to earn extra is because, I wanna get more equipment coz I'm planning to study intermediate photography at the university. I know I still have to learn a lot!

Mom was also happy for me because I finally bought these stuff. She has always been very supportive of my endeavors. She told me she's happy that I turned out to be more than she expected... a very responsible and talented yet down to earth person (aaawwww! makes me wanna cry). She felt proud because she knows how hard I worked to afford them. I don't earn a lot you see, so I do my best to get other means to get by. It may be hard, but it's all worth it!

Before going home, we dropped by my favorite cake shop to buy a small cake for Maggie so the celebration would look real! heheeh I immediately took pictures as soon as we got home!
Mum was very excited about the whole thing! Her wish for me was that for me to save enough to buy a new lens or another camera. She hopes I can be a successful photographer in the coming days. (Wow! Thanks Ma!)

the birthday cake

mum enjoyed the cake a lot!

I know that Maggie may not be the best dslr camera out there, but I may say that I learned so many things by using her. Her lack of extra features pushed me to study more to achieve better shots. Maggie taught me to persevere, be patient and be more appreciate of the world around me. We also shared countless adventures (just look at my God knows how many albums on facebook) since I bought her last year. My life had an upheaval upon her arrival, and I will never be the same =)

one proud mum as well

I know there will be more and more adventures in the coming days..... I know there will be more good memories........

No Pain, No Gain!

2011-04-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

"all I wanted was a simple kind of life"

My mind has been in a mess lately.....

I'm beginning to believe how lack of sleep can truly affect one's mood. It's truly hard to be cheerful when you got roughly 3 hours of sleep at night and 4 hours in mid morning. I noticed that my mood levels have been decreasing week per week. Too low to the point that sometimes, I just wanna disappear and shut myself from everyone.

Despite the mood crashes and suicidal thoughts (i have a lot lately), I still ain't stopping. My dad has been very worried about me these days. He told I was crazy and pushing myself too much and that I need to stop. Nah.... now is not the time to surrender I believe.

Probably, this is my way of dealing with my innermost demons. To be at my all time-low..... Yeah, I wanna push my limits really hard because I wanna learn. I know I need to endure much pain in order to be stronger. Call me insane! I don't really care. Most people naturally try to avoid pain because they think it doesn't do them any good. But you see, when life hits them really hard with unavoidable circumstances, they find themselves lost and acting ever so immature. Obviously because they dunno on how to handle such situations for they have been trying to avoid them most of the time. They didn't prepare enough. They failed to find time to get to know themselves and love themselves better so they end up being vulnerable and shattered. They say you have to build a sturdy fortress to protect you from being hurt.. but I think it's only for cowards... for a war must be dealt with head on, instead of hiding from your shelter. How can you test the sturdiness of your fortress if you keep on avoiding storms? When all else fails.. when those walls come tumbling down... how are you gonna protect yourself then? How can you upgrade your armor without winning battles? Makes sense right?

thoughts ever flowing...

"Have I gone insane or is it the just the world around me?" ~~ this thought has been wandering around my mind these days. I also don't expect many people to understand (if you do, then Thank You!).

I choose to have peace of mind. I choose to listen to myself for now. I aim for simplicity, to bring out the best in me. I'm at the stage where I'm training myself to be more self reliant, gain more control. Distance myself a little from all hypocrisy. Think about the relationships I'm in... sorting out the weeds. I wanna strengthen the morals and beliefs which I believe in. I wanna test my emotional strength and endurance. I'm on a riot of my own.

I know it may not be the best situation to be in, but I choose to be here for a reason. I wanna keep silent for now... clear my head. I have been a coward most of the time, so now is the perfect time for me to grow up. I'm letting myself wander in all corners of my head... testing the waters, challenging fate, finding answers, learning lessons, gaining much strength.

a promise..

I thank my family and friends for expressing concern. I know I've been acting strange lately. It really is strange for a people person like me to just isolate herself all of a sudden. I know. As I said, I don't really expect everyone to understand. Rest assured that I am and will always be the sweet old Mae, ever so working hard and ever so creative. Please be patient with me. I need you to trust me on this. Eventually, when I'm ready and have gained enough strength, I will take flight once again and conquer the world like what I always do.

Voice Blog Entry #1

2011-04-21T02:01:00.000+08:00

For those of you who are curious on how I sound...

My Other Side....

2011-04-17T22:56:00.002+08:00

Today was like a dream come true.... I got to stay the whole day in the house!!!

I made it a point not to have any appointments so I can tidy up the place and focus on my cooking.
I've decided to make my weekly cooking show again. I find it really exciting and it seems I've been responsible for making my friends go hungry due to the irresistible food photos which I've been posting on Facebook. I noticed that my friends have been asking me for the recipes so I've decided to make videos like a real cooking show should (I'm in need of a producer so my show can be seen on tv!!).

Oh before I forget, Badeth came over again for dinner yesterday so I prepared a nice meal for us... I made my very own Rosemary Fried Chicken with Sour Cream Salsa. It's a dish I've been preparing since high school and I'm really proud of it! You see, I'm the kind of person who likes to break-away from the usual stuff so I also do my best to offer something more than the usual catchup and gravy. I'm glad that Badeth loves my cooking so does Frank and his family. I hope I can cook for Mitch one of these days when I get the chance to see her.

crispy herbed chicken with delicate creamy sauce......

I'm glad Badeth loved it!!

Ok ok... so today I'd like to show you a very intimate side of me..... a peek at my everyday life here at the unit.... 

I started the day with a heaping cup of coffee (I started drinking coffee last week) plus a spoonful of cream and lots of sinful cinnamon!! Waaaaaaaahhhhh (no wonder my friends call me sosyal)

not your usual cup...

indulging myself with much cinnamon

I took a quick shower then cleaned the bathroom!
I really enjoy hot showers in this place. I also enjoy keeping it tidy and smelling good!!! (obviously a bathroom OC arrrghhh!!!)

nothing beats a warm bath

keepin' it all squeeky clean....

Next I had to deal with the sink problem I've been having the whole week! Thanks to Mr. Muscle for saving the day!!! hehhehehhehe (Seeing my sink A-OK really made me feel fulfilled!)

hoooray for Mr Muscle!!!! (I feel like a housewife! lols)

Then, I'm glad to see that my dishes have already dried! I also cleaned and polished the sink and the cooking counters. I applied a surface cleaner/disinfectant so I can assure that my food is bacteria safe.

yey!!!

certified kitchen OC!!!

the stove exhaust is so helpful!!!

gotta keep those utensils ready for war....

toothpicks... you'll never know when you need one

After making sure that all is squeeky clean, it was time to start cooking....
I found some left over brown rice (the healthiest variety as they say) at the cooker so I thought I should make some fried rice so I don't have to throw it away. I quickly opened the fridge to find some ingredients. Luckily, I found that I have a lot of stuff waiting to be picked. I did some grocery shopping yesterday and bought random stuff in preparation for my sudden culinary creativity moments.

I love collecting gourmet herbs and spices....

I always see to it that the fridge has enough food.. can't go wrong with eggs

I found some chinese chorizo, bell peppers, parsley, eggs and oyster sauce..... So that's it!! Perfect!! It's gonna be Chinese Chorizo Fried Rice for lunch then!!! I knew I had to document it so I may show it to you so I grabbed my cam and started clickin'!!!

i always stock some chorizos just in case

also.... keeping fresh produce in the chiller is a must

toss them all in your wok!

add in your left over rice ( it's a sin to throw away food)

beat some eggs and pour in it.... place it on one side of your pan and allow it to set before mixing it with the gang

touch it up with a healthy dose of Oyster Sauce for that Oriental feel

tadah!!!! my instant Lazy Sunday lunch!!!!!

the other side of me..

Waaaaahhhh this is the life.....
there's this big part of me which enjoys being at home. I like going out yeah... to experience new things and connect with others... it will always be part of me of course but I always wanna see to it that I enjoy "me" time... a time to connect with my inner-self... to reflect on what I've done so far so I can think about things and plan what needs to be done.
Unlike many attention whores out there, I feel that I've established myself so far.... I don't really have to prove myself too much anymore. I'm glad that I've established a good reputation over the years due to my passion and dedication to my craft. I'm glad that everything is going pretty well... no pressures whatsoever. I believe as of now, I just have to continue on persevering with my passions... and that is to pursue my art and make the world a better place to live-in.....
.... how will I do it??...... by just being my own sweet SELF.

First Weekend Cooking Trip...

2011-04-16T03:21:00.001+08:00

I've been wanting to have more "me" time and be able to somehow rid myself of earthly woes. I've been wanting to detach and be alone for a while and the universe indeed granted yet another wish of mine.

Last week, I moved into a fancy condo unit which is owned by my mom's friend. I'm really glad they assigned me to look after the place for a while since I work very near the area. I'm happy that my mom trusts me a lot. I never let her down. She helped me with my things and then I volunteered to clean the unit especially the kitchen.

It may not be obvious but I honestly wanna be a domestic goddess.... I love cooking and entertaining people at home. I got sooo excited as soon as I saw the kitchen. waaaaahhh so relieved! It has a reliable fridge and gas for the stove. I immediately hit the grocery to buy the basics.

The following day, I invited Badeth and her sister Salve for a hearty meal. I made my ever special cheesecake and since it has been ages since I cooked pasta, (I'm quite known for my sinful rich flavored pastas), I've decided to prepare it again to see if I still got that magic touch. hehehhee

Crispy Tuna Alfredo

you can't go wrong with bell peppers

First on the menu was Tuna Alfredo. I like this recipe a lot because instead of putting cheese on top, I put crispy tuna flakes!! Imagine, creamy rich sauce along with the crunchy texture of tuna..not to mention the aroma of those luscious green bell peppers (I'm a sucker for bell peppers!) This is very easy to make I promise!!! A no-brainer dish!

I also prepared my classic rosemary mojos! They were an instant hit!!! Reminds me of Shakey's big old mojos. I believe it tastes better than what they serve now. Also a no-brainer snack!

Salve while on Facebook marathon

the view from the apartment

We chowed down immediately after the pasta was ready. We hung out on the table and chatted like crazy. Blah blah blah blah... about anything we could think of..... The girls enjoyed the sights. The unit had a spectacular city view and they were thrilled I got a reliable internet access so I let them use Alexa (my laptop) the whole day (Facebook marathon). Badeth and I took some photos of course.

I even taught Badet on how to whip cream. It's really challenging! It's not as easy as it seems. It takes a lot of hand control and patience.

Badeth whipping it good!

my very special Blueberry Cheesecake

Evening came and I was thinking on what to serve for dinner (despite the fact that I still have lots of pasta alfredo left). Well, let's just say that I don't like serving left overs to my guests. Ok ok, I admit.. I just want to have an excuse to cook again hehehehehe., But the problem was, I really didn't have anything in mind, I wasn't prepared. I only had some canned goods in the pantry so I thought I'd just prepare some corned beef, a fluffy veggie omelette with brown rice (classic comfort food). But then I realized I had a lot of extra cooked pasta, I knew it would go bad and brittle if I just put it in the fridge so I had to maximize what I had. I checked the chiller and luckily, I had a lot of tomatoes and even herbs so I quickly decided to make my very own Italian style tomato sauce from scratch which I have developed a few years ago. Good thing I got almost all the needed ingredients (though I wish I had fresh herbs rather than dry ones).

i love garlic!!

my very own Italian style tomato sauce

Cornedbeef in homemade Italian red sauce

So I just combined the basic stuff. You need 2 things mainly: to have the right ingredients and to have the patience until you achieve the desired taste. I'm the kind of cook who is not into strictly "measuring" my ingredients... I like experimenting a lot and I never use MSG.

So there I was, experimenting again... wondering if my guests would enjoy it or turn blue after the 1st bite. Hmmmm I knew I was on the right track though.... the big question in my head was whether they would like it or not. You see, most of us got used to the classic canned thick tomato sauce. Basically, I just wanted to break-away from that culture. I wanted to make my own... and a better one.

It was also a hit! It seemed they liked it more than the 1st one. I'm relieved that they appreciate my cooking a lot! It was worth all the energy!

a very private moment

I'm happy that I'm now able to reveal my more private side. That despite my image being very outgoing and always seen on stage, the real me still remains to be very happy with simple things like being at home and pampering people with hearty meals. I'm happy to be given the opportunity to show my passion in cooking once again. I know I'm not a pro chef or the best out there (I don't really plan to be one for it's gonna be for my family's pleasure only), I'm pretty much satisfied to see my friends enjoying what I've prepared for them... Seeing those empty plates are more like trophies to me!

unleashing the chef in me...

I often get comments from friends like, I'm ready to marry and that whoever is the guy for me is surely gonna be lucky to have me as his wife... hmmmmm yeah I guess so.

Whoever he is, he sure is one hellova lucky guy!!! He must be really worth the wait! I really don't wanna think about that right now for I'm busy on how to develop myself more (everything has its proper time). For now, I'll just develop more special recipes and cook more so I'll be ready when he comes!

I can't wait for next weekend's cooking trip.... I wonder who my guests will be.. hmmmmm

Kampo Berde...Where Love Is All Around!

2011-04-08T14:59:00.001+08:00

a place made with love... (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

There is indeed no place like home... but sometimes, we too need to give ourselves a chance to disconnect from our routines and allow our souls to rejuvenate, to heal. We need to go someplace.. A refuge for hearts-a-hurting. A haven for families to bond, rebuild connections. A sanctuary in finding romance and a retreat for individuals who seek inspiration....

As spiritual beings and like you and me, we all have this instinct....
an inner voice.....

a place where you can be free! (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

a force which tells us to go back to the source... The power source which holds the planets in place and drives us to wake up each sunrise. The power which moves our face muscles to smile and allow our hands to reach out to the people we share our lives with. The power which fuels our dreams to materialize. The power which inspires artists to create and poets to scribble. The power which aids us to stand up again in times of adversity and defeat... The power which fills us with life... The one power which we were basically made with. LOVE

Where can you find pristine love amidst this chaotic and ruthless world? I, my friends have found it in a secluded place not really far from busy polluted Manila. I found it in a humble place called KAMPO BERDE "The Green Camp" located in Alfonso, Tagaytay City.

the grand entrance!(photo by: Frank Ruaya)

Tagaytay is well known for its cool breeze, great quality beef, cheap produce and a great view of the world's smallest volcano. In all the fancy overlooking places in Tagaytay, why do I prefer Kampo Berde? The answer is really simple. For me, this place is special. why?... because it is a place made and maintained by LOVE. And with LOVE, you can never go wrong!

Your 1 way ticket to paradise starts as soon as you enter the gates and be greeted by a warm and loving smile by the people maintaining the place. Fall in love with the beauty of the blooms and greens which surround the area. Feel peace and tranquility as the cool breeze enfolds you... filling you with the energy which you need.

a symbol of undying love

Yes, this place is indeed made by love. Kampo Berde is managed by a very warm loving family headed by Mr Dan Villas and wife Cristina who have been happily married for many years and I would attest that they are still very much in-love with each other up to this very day...

A love that has stood the test of time...Something that is very rare to find nowadays. If only you could hear their love story, it'll surely send you a lot giggles (I'm such a love junkie). The place I believe is the living proof of the love which they share. You may find their symbol all over the place as reminder of how undying their love is. You can definitely feel that love is all around!

meet the Villas!

Maui, Buchak and me!

I have been very very fortunate to have had the opportunity to spend some of my weekends with them. Their 3 lovely daughters Michelle, Maui and Glyf plus their granddaughter Linsey is such a delight to be with! I feel that I have found a family in them. I have had my share of good laughs, great food and great conversations with the Villas! Just mere looking at them as they work and relax around the place makes me feel really good. I feel very safe in this oasis especially at times when my heart needs mending. It's the best place to bond with your friends and loved ones.

the fab facade (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

the facade at night (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

a very spacious place where you can run free and just be yourself!(photo by: Frank Ruaya)

The place is 2100sqms big. It has 1 huge bahay kubo which serves as the dining area with a kitchen right beside it. It has 1 main house which can accommodate 9 guests complete with toilet and bath, fridge, and a nice veranda. For those of you who wanna have a more "native" feel, you may opt to stay at the huge bahay kubo which can house up to 8 guests (with toilet and bath).

dining area (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

dine at the grand kubo! (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

the cozy main house! (photo by: Frank Ruaya)


relaxing beds.. (main house)


a great place to chill (main house)

toilet and bath (main house) (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

me acting crazy again!

you may also stay at the big kubo (good for 8pax)

toilet and bath (kubo house)

inside the kubo

sleeping time.... (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

Videoke with the gang (photo by Frank Ruaya)

Pick your perfect place under the sun with the various relaxing spots you can choose from. If you're a shutterbug like me, this place is truly a delight with the various subjects and flowers which you can photograph! It's an ideal place to hold photo shoots! Perfect for bondings of all sorts.. reunions, retreats, weekend barkada getaways etc.. a perfect place to make great memories!

great for photography enthusiasts!

great for bondings of all sorts!

meet the Mafia with big boss Frank!

hehehehe I may act silly most of the time but they still accept me nonetheless (Photo by Frank Ruaya)

It was a perfect day!!! (Photo by Badeth Compuesto)

Whenever I spend the weekend here, I really enjoy walking along the pavements, occasionally greeting the friendly animals and daydreaming while I lay my back at the hammock. I'm proud to say that there is no wifi in this place.... this means, you can really disconnect and have the "me" time you deserve!

No temptations, No pressure, No stress... exactly what YOU NEED!!!

entrance to the main house. I really love walking along these pavements.. (photo by: Frank Ruaya)

chillax, reflect, rejuvenate, daydreaming about my crush.... *sigh*

my view while chilling at the hammock

hanging out with the resident animals!! They often holler for some fresh grass!

hehehehehe as long as I got the basics with me... I'll be fine!

plotting yet another evil plan...(photo by: Frank Ruaya)

The best thing you can do is to give yourself a breather... Disconnect from worldly worries and reconnect with your true self or spend it with the people who matter most to you. To really "recharge" isn't achieved by expensive spa treatments or massages..... it is attained by clearing your mind, spirit and filling it with much much LOVE...because it is what really fuels us to go on.

Time, Peace and Love.... the most precious things in life which I believe we should invest in. So go on... give in to what your heart tells you. Let the vibe of this place help fill your heart with the love and healing which you need! Let this place be the canvass as you paint smiles and memories to be etched in your heart and mind. Treat yourself and your family to an unforgettable weekend here at KAMPO Berde...

For rates and booking inquiries, you may email me at eamska@gmail.com

Special thanks to Frank Ruaya of Eye Street Photography for providing this article with wonderful photos =)

In Need of a Hug..

2011-03-29T19:14:00.001+08:00

I'd like to believe that I'm ok...(my mind at least) but my frail body seems not to be in shape.

still looking fab despite being ill

my maintenance m

I have been suffering from continuous palpitations for 3 days now. I must admit, I've been keeping
a lot of problems in my head for the past weeks. I prefer not to delve into them to avoid further stress.
I'd like to be optimistic yet realistic still. All I can say for now is that, being alone can be really tough...
Being an only child is a challenging task but I really don't wanna complain.

I believe I worry too much. That's my problem.

I have this condition which is called Mitral Valve Prolapse. It's not a disease... it's a condition~~~ meaning,
I had it with me since birth but it was only detected when I was 18 after suffering from severe depression.
I don't really know how fatal this is but some say that this can be a traitor.. like anytime, my heart can shutdown
and that's it! over! Scary right? This is probably one of the reasons why I always try to live my life to the fullest.
I always live my day as if it were my last.

Last night, I had difficulty while on my way home. My chest felt
very heavy the whole day. I felt I was drowning and dizzy. Fortunately, I didn't faint. I did my best not
to collapse. My bf used to pick me up from work but of course, I'm on my
own now (and didn't even thought of calling him to rescue me).
I now commute to and from my office. I bravely roam the streets at night. I must admit, I used to be very needy. I often demanded attention from him and depended on him to always look after me. I was so immature then.
Now, no matter how difficult my situation is, I do my best not to complain about it. I'd like to endure it as much as possible.
I'm a very responsible person. I wanna stay strong and overcome these hurdles. I'm hopeful that all my plans would materialize.
I have soo many projects in-line and I can't wait to finish all of them.

I know that these trials are here to help me become stronger... to eventually prepare me for more responsibilities and
more blessings.

I'd like to stay focused and positive about things though I feel very alone.. yes I do. I know I have to get used to it.
I realized that I don't wanna be a typical "needy" girl anymore. I'd like to see myself as a person who can stand alone.
I don't wanna depend on others. I don't wanna be just any other girl that men take for granted.I'm too precious to be left behind. For now, I wanna have a less complicated life and I choose to be more mature on things.

My mom is not aware on my situation because I don't want her to worry much about me. I want her to be happy.
I wanna provide for her more. Please don't tell her in case you see her.

Furthermore, our company just moved into a new office building yesterday so I felt so stressed out with all the clutter and
the things which I needed to arrange. I don't really feel comfortable with my new small station. I have to adjust fast.

For now, though I can't really rest until the holy week vacation (still no plans) I will do my best to lessen my woes. I wanna keep on going and keep on smiling 'coz I have no choice. I badly need a vacation!!!
It's time to grow up!

Oh, I'd like to thank the people who texted and called me last night. Thank you for the concern. I really appreciate it!
Thank You for your prayers. I guess for now, I just need a really warm healing hug and some time to talk. I believe this would
help me a lot to recover fast. As I'm writing this entry, I'm still not feeling ok. My maintenance meds are just
starting to take effect. I know it's still not the time to die. No! No dying for now! I got so many reasons to live. I just started living actually!! I still have a long way to go! Please pray for my speedy recovery.

Heto Nanaman....

2011-03-25T17:49:00.004+08:00

Para kong tanga!!
Umiiyak ako!
May narinig kse kong kanta kanina... yung kinakanta ni manong bulag dun sa Edsa Shrine overpass.
Ang galing kse ni Manong kumanta! Kinanta nya yung "I'll Take Care of You" ni Ronnie Milsap.

Ang tagal tagal ko ng hindi to naririnig kaya tatandaan ko to para sa next videoke session if ever (hihii)

Isa pa sa rason kung bakit ako naiyak ay dahil kinanta yun ni Manong Bulag sa asawa nyang nasa tabi nya... na nagsisilbi ding alalay nya tuwing nanlilimos. Araw araw ko sila nakikita sa overpass. Napahanga ako. =) Hindi sila nag-iiwanan sa kabila ng kalagayan nila. Ang sweeeeeeet! Nakaka-antig damdamin! Di ko napigilan ang pagdaloy ng mga luha.....

Call me senti.. emo... ako na!
Pero ang ganda kse ng lyrics e.
Kailan kaya ko kakantahan ng ganun? Ayokong maging masyadong kritikal...
strong nga ko e... alam kong sakin nakasalalay ang kasiyahan ko. Pero syempre,
tao parin akong naghahanap ng konting atensyon... konting lambing. Hindi naman sa "needy" ako masyado pero deserve ko naman yun at sobrang tagal ko ng hindi yun nararamdaman. Minsan parang gusto ko na isara nalang ang puso ko to spare myself from pain kso ang korny naman nun... mabuti pang mamatay nalang. Ayokong maging manhid...walang saysay ang buhay kung magiging manhid. Sa ngayon, ayoko talaga muna isipin pero madalas ay may isang taong sumasagi sa isip ko. Ahahaha Pero teka, ibang usapan yun! Basta ang masasabi ko lang, wala akong masabi! nyahahaha anlabo!!!

Hindi biro ang mga pinagdaanan ko so I believe unfair na tinatawag-tawag akong emo. Ganun naman ang mga tao e.. napakadali nilang magsalita.... kung sino pa yung mga wala namang kinalaman sa buhay mo, yun pa yung maraming sinasabi. Meron dyan, sinasabihan ako ng mahina kse wala parin daw akong bf. Kesyo ang tanda ko na daw, napag-iwanan na ko ng panahon... Tuwang-tuwa silang sabihan ako ng ganun. Buti hindi naman ako napipikon. Hindi naman ako makitid na tao. So what kung wala kong bf? Mas ok naman maging single keysa naman may bf nga ko, babaero naman! OMG tama na!!
Mataas ba masyado ang standards ko? O baka sila ang masyadong mababa ang standards!?? hehehehe Basta ko, steady lang muna... no pressure! At hello? Ang bata ko pa!!! Pasalamat sila at mabait ako kse kundi, pinagtatampal ko na sila! hahaha

Kagabi noong inopen ko yung isa kong blog, nabasa ko ulit yung sulat ko para sa future baby ko. Naluha ako kse parang gusto ko sya sulatan ulit at ikwento ang mga nararamdaman ko ngayon. Naiyak ako kse natatakot ako na baka hindi ko sya makita. Hindi ko sya mayakap.. hindi ko maturuang magbasa, magluto, kumanta etc.Paano nalang kundi nga? Ang hirap kapag lahat ng tao, sinasabihan kang hindi ka magtatagumpay... na hindi mo makakamit ang mga mithiin mo...at sa kabila nito, kaibigan ko daw sila (wow!!)

Magiging hopeful parin ako!

"I'll take care of you. Don't be sad, don't be blue." ~~~ ang sarap pakinggan ng mga katagang ito. Mas matindi pa sa I love you! The thought na may isang taong nag-aassure syo na hindi ka mag-iisa....yung laging magiging nasa tabi mo kahit anong mangyari, lalo na sa mga araw na hindi ka na maganda't mabango. Yung laging may hahawak ng kamay mo kahit magaspang na ito... yung may karamay ka sa pag-iyak at kasiyahan. Yung may magpapatawa syo tuwing may sumpong ka. hehehe Alam ko naman na hindi lang sa mga halik at yakap nasusukat ang pagmamahal...

Basta pagdating ng araw.... ng tamang oras... sasabihin ko din ang mga katagang ito sa taong karapat-dapat
magmay-ari ng buong pagkatao ko... paulit-ulit ko itong sasambitin.....malayo man ako sa kanya....ipakiki-usap ko kay Haring Habagat na ibulong yon lagi sa kanya... na magiging puro at wagas ito.
Na kahit lumuha man nang paulit-ulit.... sya parin ang hahanap-hanapin ko dahil sadya kaming ginawa para sa isa't-isa.

I always say what I mean, and mean what I say.....

Umiiral nanaman ang pagka-romantiko ko......

.... (hinga ng malalim Mae!!)

Sana.....

2011-03-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

.... Matuto ako kung pano ang maging sakim.... yung magdamot sa mga bagay na gustong gusto ko. Ang hindi muna i-share sa iba ang mga nalalaman ko. Ang sabihin sa taong gusto ko na, "Akin ka nalang!" hahahaha kung pwede nga lang sana e no? hihii

picture ko habang sinusulat itong entry..

.... ako naman ang alagaan...Ano kaya ang pakiramdam? Yung ako naman ang sinusuyo..... ako naman ang pinagbibigyan.... ako naman ang pinapasaya... ako naman ang sinosorpresa? Sana maranasan ko din yun =) Nakakatuwa siguro ang pakiramdam!

.... Magkapag-bakasyon ako kahit mga ilang araw lang. Walang internet, walang FB at walang cellphone!! Waaaahhh dream come true yun tyak!! Dadalhin ko lang si Maggie (camera) at kukunan ko lahat ng makikita ko tapos hindi ko iseshare ang mga pictures! BWAHAHAHHAH

..... maumpisahan na namin yung music video! Excited na ko makatrabaho ang mga kaibigan kong tulad ko at makasama ang mga kaibigang sumusuporta sakin! Ang swerte ko talaga. Alam kong narito ako sa dapat kong kalagyan. Ang daming nagrerequest sakin na magproduce ulit ng gig... phew isa isa lang muna!

..... makabili na ko ulit ng oven para makapagluto ulit ako ng bongga!! nyahahahah!! Namimiss ko na yung paggawa ko ng pizza from scratch at pagbake ng cake! Proud na proud sakin ang mommy ko kse ang sarap ko daw magluto! Yey! Yey! Ewan ko ba pero masayang masaya ako kapag nagluluto. Excited kse ko na ipatikim yung finished product!
No wonder napapangiti ko ang mga tumitikim kse punong-puno ng happy vibes!!

.... matuloy ko yung plano ko sa birthday ko ma magkaron ng Breakfast party! Gusto ko maghanda ng breakfast buffet!! hihihi cute no? Kumpleto! May bacon, ham, eggs, yogurt, pancakes, cereal, fruits, croissant, baguettes... todo na!!! Pagtanda ko, gusto ko magkaron ng maliit na Cafe lounge at dun ko ihahanda ang mga specialty cakes ko. Pupunuin ko yun ng madaming pictures tungkol saking buhay.. mga libro at musika.Lalagyan ko yun ng photo studio na may madaming props kung saan pwede magphoto-shoot ang mga customers ko. Isang lugar na ideal para makapagrelax at makapag-isip at makagawa ng magagandang memories ... wala pa kong nakikitang ganun dito!

.... madami pa kong maturuang mga bagets! Patok na patok talaga ang beauty ko sa mga bata! Trip na trip nila ako! Tinatawanan ako ng mga baby na nakikita ko at hind ko alam kung baket! hahahah Aliw na aliw siguro sila sa mukha ko! ahahah Hindi naman ako exposed sa mga bata noong maliit pa ko. Solong anak kse ako. Pero lately, napapansin ako, click na click ako sa kanila. Napapasaya ako ng mga students kong bata. Tawa sila ng tawa tuwing klase namin. Yung isang paborito ko, si Rey na 12 yrs old na dati may phobia sa English, ngayon ay gustong gusto na! Ayaw nga umabsent e at aktibong aktibo sa klase. Kung tutuusin, sya ang pinakahindi marunong magsalita sa lahat pero special sya kse saken talaga sya natuto. Lagi ko kse sya pinupuri kapag tama ang mga sagot nya! Iba talaga ang naidudulot ng appreciation at praise. Nakakaboost ng morale.

.... mabili ko yung coat na trip na trip ko talaga!! hay ang ganda ganda! Kahit mainit, paninindigan ko talaga suotin yun! At aqua-blue bikini na trip na trip ko!! ahahaha Kso wala pa kong extra moolah! Hay buhay! I'm sooo poor! Kelangan ko talaga rumaket pa!!

... sana sipagin na kong magpapayat! Hindi naman ako super taba, chubby lang...lagi kse ko nakaupo tapos kain pa ng kain kaya eto ang hirap magpaliit ng tyan! ahahaha minsan nga naisip ko... naku pano pa yan kung sumexy ako? edi perfect na perfect na?? Maganda, talentado, matalino, masarap magluto tapos sexy pa! OMG!!! hahahaha

.... humaba pa ang buhok ko! Kso hindi naman kse ko mahilig mag-ayos ng buhok. Gusto ko lang nakapusod o naka pony. Tamang tama kse super init kaya masarap lang itaas ang buhok. Feel na feel ko
na girl ako sa ganito. Super panget ng hair no noon... as in super kulot withough effort! Ikaw ba naman ang hindi magsuklay araw araw e! hahahhaah Pero ngayon happy ako sa wavy hair ko.. hindi ko trip magparebond kse ayokong maging mala-alambre sa tigas ang hair ko! ahihihihih eewww!!

to be continued.....

Minsan....

2011-03-23T02:42:00.000+08:00

... gustong kong maglaho. Mawala. Kalimutan ang mga obligasyon at isipin lang ang aking sarili. Magsusulat ako nang masusulat. Ilalathala ko lahat ng aking nararamdaman, opinyon at mga konsepto. Ganito lang talaga ako at konti lang ang may alam at nakakaintindi nito.

... sa sobrang dami kong naiisip na kung anu-ano, minsan naiinis na din ako sa sarili ko. Nawiweirdohan na din ako. Alam ko hindi naman ako henyo, pero tanggap ko ang sarili ko bilang abnormal... at least hindi sub-normal!
Mabuti nalang pinatatyagaan ako ng mga kaibigan ko. hihihihi Napapasaya ko din sila marahil.

.... naiinis ako sa mga babae!
Sa mga babaeng saksakan ng insecure! Ang dami dami kong nakikita dyan... mga babaeng super gaganda, makikinis, tisay... pero dahil nga sa pagiging kapit-tuko, walang kumpyansa sa sarili at masyadong "needy," nilalayasan sila ng mga kasintahan nila. Kahit siguro ako kung naging lalaki ako, ayoko din ng ganun e. Yun lang naman ang ugat kung baket may mga selosa, mala koala sa pagka-clingy at madrama...insecurity. Nagseselos sa iba kse insecure sa kung anong wala sa kanya. Clingy dahil ayaw maagawan dahil insecure. Madrama dahil feeling nya laging di sya karapat-dapat....dahil nga insecure. Hay!!! ewan ko ba! Sana mejo alalay naman! Yung tamang levels lang. Ayus din naman yung me konting selos at drama pero wag naman yung OA. Saken, imbis na magselos at magdrama ko, aayusin ko nalang ang sarili ko para ipakita sa iba kung gano ako kahalaga.

.....gusto kong magbabad sa kusina at magcooking marathon! Walang biro! Mag-iinvite ako ng mga kaibigan at bubusugin ko sila na parang mga patabaing baboy hanggang sumuko ang mga panga nila kakakain! hahahha!!

.... gusto ko ng magka-anak. Totoo pala yung maternal instinct kapag 30 ka na. Gusto ko magpalaki ng sanggol saking sinapupunan. Gusto kong mapuyat ng may dahilan, Gusto kong mapagod ng may kabuluhan. Gusto kong ipamana ang mga kaalaman ko sa isang taong kakabit ng aking buhay. Hindi ako nagmamadali. Hinihintay ko pa ang lalaking makakasabay ko sa pangangarap. Dalangin ko yun sa twina -- na ang di mahuli ang lahat para samin..san man sya naroon.

....naiisip ko baket hindi pa ko mayaman. Baket hindi sapat ang sweldo ko? Baket hindi sinlaki ng kita ng iba ang kinikita ko? Marahil isa ito sa dapat kong pagtutunan ng pansin. Ang kung paano pa kumita ng pera para mabili ko yung mga bagay na alam kong makakatulong saking sining. Para mas mapasaya ko ang pamilya ko. Para makapag-aral ako muli ng pangalawang kurso!

... gusto ko ng sumuko at magpakalunod sa mga problema. Mahirap mag-isa. Pero alam kong di ako matututo kung lagi nalang ako aasa sa iba. Kailangan kong tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa. Ayoko pa sumuko hindi dahil sa takot ako o dahil sa alam kong may hangganan din ang lahat ng ito pero.... ang totoo... gusto ko pa matuto. Madami pa kong dapat matutunan sa buhay. Proud ako sa taglay kong sipag at tyaga. Ngayon, mas gusto kong paghirapan ang mga gusto kong makuha para mas doble ang tagumpay!!

..... pakiramdam ko, hinuhubog ako ngayon ng panahon. Hinuhubog para lalong tumibay. Binuburo para lalong tumagal at mahinog. Hirap ako ngayon aaminin ko pero dahil dito, lalo kong napapahalagahan ang mga bagay na nasa paligid ko.. pati mga taong kabilang sa mundo ko. Pakiramdam ko mas buhay ako ngayon!

... pakiramdam ko ang araw at ang buwan ay nagsasalitang magbigay liwanag para sakin.. Ang mga bituin, sadyang nagpapakita sa kalangitan upang masilayan ako. Ang mga ulap... pabago-bago ng anyo upang sila'y aking ngitian. Alam kong hindi ako santo (laitera ako at suplada minsan) ngunit alam kong mabait ako... madalas pa nga sobra. Gusto ko lang maging totoo sa sarili. Wala akong nililihim dahil ayokong magsinungaling kahit kanino lalo na saking sarili. Alam kong hindi ako tunay na kaibigan kung magsisinungaling ako sa kanila. Hindi yun kaya ng aking kunsensya. Mahalaga ako... mahalaga sakin ang may malinis na pangalan at reputasyon.

Alam kong wala sakin ang lahat. Madami pa akong gustong makamit at maranasan. Tyaga lang at panahon ang kailangan ko. Gusto ko pa mabuhay nang matagal.
Gusto ko pa matuto,
gusto ko pa magpakasaya..

magpasaya.....

....magmahal!

Mayo Got Krissyfied.....

2011-03-15T20:07:00.002+08:00

am I blooming or what?

I love making people feel special. I don't possess a lot of material things...but I do opt to get the things which I know will make me grow.

1st shoot with Krissy

I value connections rather than collections. I may not have all the things that money can buy but I am proud to say that I do have the best group of pals which one could ever have. They are my earth angels, my pillars of strength. Due to the happiness and love which they fill me with, I made a vow to myself to always be there for them and support them. This week, I'd like to feature another good friend of mine. A fellow blogger and my one and only kikay friend Krissy!

To give you a little background, Kristel a.k.a. Krissy was introduced to me by guess who? hehehehe Uncle Frank again! yey! You see, after Frank and I got in-touch again last year, my network of friends started multiplying! Frank is indeed fortunate to have lots of great people around him, I'm also happy that I got to know most of them. I heard that long before Krissy and I met, Frank has already mentioned me and my blog to her. He knew perhaps that we'd click due to our very talkative nature. Our first bonding if I'm not mistaken was when I visited her place with then roommate Mami Sha in Roosevelt, QC. I just started learning on how to use my camera that time. She's actually my 1st model right after my Portraits 101 class with Sir Nicolay. Our 1st informal shoot was very casual yet pleasant. I got the chance to get to know her and build a photographer-model rapport. I'm glad she liked my shots. A few months after that, we finally scheduled our 1st formal shoot at UP Diliman along with Watcher Concepcion then after a few months again, scheduled another shoot this time with Frank at the Quezon Memorial Circle.

during our 1st formal shoot at UP

me teaching Krissy to look fierce!! Grroowwll!!

i love this very candid shot

As time went by, this photographer/model relationship bloomed into a very beautiful friendship. Aside from photo shoots, she'd sometimes invite me to her blog events. I don't really read other blogs (too lazy) but I really enjoy reading hers! I also got the chance to meet lots of beautiful people because of her! You see, Krissy and I are very different in many ways. We have different tastes in fashion, food, music etc yet still, she's one of the top girlfriends on my list perhaps because when we talk, we can relate to each other very well. Furthermore, I believe we have a lot of respect for one another. With her, like my other girlfriends, I can talk sense. She knows how to listen and gives wise insights on the topics which we discuss. I will never forget the time when we both cried while inside the bus during one of our girl talks. ("iyakan sa bus") =)

at the Candy Fair!

Sugar overload with the girls..

hanging around in her pad

A couple of weeks ago, I was then again visited by good old misery. I thought I was gonna lose it! I knew I needed help and she suddenly crossed my mind for I knew she would understand. I contacted her and luckily, she was about to watch a movie with her other girlfriends (Mich and Flex) and she invited me to join. Over dinner, I told her my grief. I was touched when I learned she hardly had any sleep, yet chose to listen to me that day. I really appreciate what she did. She made me feel I wasn't alone. I found a friend in her =)

life saver!!

Last weekend, I invited her to my favorite date place. I wanted to spend time with her because I heard she had a tough time again the other week. After her shift last Sunday, I took her to Cubao Expo. Bellini's is still #1 in my list due to its authentic feel, great ambiance and superb service! I believe this place is for special people so I really wanted to treat her here as expression of my gratitude and to celebrate our friendship! As soon as we entered, I requested the waiter to give us the best seat in the house!!!! Too bad they ran out of Sweet Wine AArrrggghh (every authentic Italian experience ain't complete without wine)!! We ordered pasta, pizza and a huge slice of the best god damn fudge cake I've ever tasted ( I didn't like the racist name though)! Also, my favorite waiter Randy gave us free shots of dessert wine on the house! Weeee (it really pays to have lots of acquaintances!)!! We had such a great time in experiencing those dishes together, taking photos and of course talking about life in general! The whole experience was splendid!

Ohhhh lala!!

havin' a great time!

authentic emotions..

The Seafood olo Scoglio tasted really nice!!

"ang Sarap!!"

Meet Randy, the headwaiter!

Randy gave us free dessert wine!! On the house!!

pinky up as always!!

It's really nice to have a circle of trusted friends to watch your back. Sometimes, I couldn't help but wonder why guys fail to see how valuable we are.... perhaps we are reserved for someone really deserving! Right now I believe we are in this stage of self-awareness or cultivation (as I'd like to call it). Like budding flowers with lots of space to grow... waiting to bloom.

shot during our photo session at the Quezon Memorial Circle

a perfect afternoon indeed!

Like any good friend, of course I would hate to see her cry... but in my case, I wouldn't mind seeing her grieve once in a while because I'd like her to go through tough times and learn life's lessons in order to grow. The only way to learn is to actually experience it! I believe we all have to learn things the hard way to enable us level-up and be stronger. I know that there are yet tougher times and tears to shed but the thought of having people like her (as well as Mitch, Badeth, Frank etc) to catch you makes your existence more meaningful. =)

Thank You Krissy for being an earth angel to me! For listening, for sharing those tears, great conversations as well as for sharing your dreams and allowing me to catch a glimpse of your soul in the wonderful photos you've given me. I look forward in more great times with you! Thank You!!

What Your Heart Is Screaming For...

2011-03-02T17:24:00.003+08:00

So which one really should you date? An illiterate? Educated? A bookworm or a writer perhaps? … the list goes on and on. With all the budding articles in response to the I’m not sure whether famous or infamous article entitled ‘You Should Date an Illiterate Girl’ out there, each with their own set of reasons, presenting their respective hypothesis on why you should date a girl who is more like who wrote that article… hmmm don’t you find it a little narcissistic?

In my case, it would be easy for me to write an article and convince you to date a girl like me. To start with, I can tell you a hundred reasons why you should date me with all the extra things I can do and with my emotional maturity and sense of humor… so easy to market and sell myself if I wanted. I can practically date any guy if I wanted if only I was desperate. I can vividly describe what it is like to be loved by me, how romantic and caring I can be, how ideal I am and how colorful your world would be to have me as your woman but no…. I choose not to write about these things. The reason? Because I simply don’t want to force anyone to choose to love me just because I’m this or that.

When love hits you…. It just does. No questions, no reasons whatsoever. Beyond the background, school records, GPA average, IQ rating, size, height , skin color and all other classifications .We simply cannot choose who we are gonna fall for. Most of the time you’d be surprised on why you can’t stop thinking of this person. Suddenly, you’re on a spell!

My advice… date the one whom your heart is screaming for. =) The one who makes your heart pound. The one who transforms your aura for reasons unfathomable. The one whom you “connect” with. The one you wanna dream with, cry with and laugh with. The one whom you wanna kiss and passionately make love with each night (sex is very important). The one whom you share a chemistry with… - because this is a person who will make your existence whole.

Be with the one whom you wanna grow with. The one you never wanna lie to. The one person who makes you glow. The one whom you still accept despite the flaws and occasional shortcomings. The one who never fails to amuse you, leaves you wondering what she's gonna do next. I don't care whether she's outgoing or shy as long as you have a deep sense of mutual understanding. Someone you feel connected with may it be in having long conversations or with just a simple nod and wink. A connection that is unexplainably perfect.

Falling in love is a gift. You’ll know it when it hits you. Lucky are those who find and nurture it. 

No matter how painful heartaches are… no matter how deep the damage is, may we all remain hopeful and think that each heart ache is not defeat but a learning experience and a sign that you are closer and closer to the one for you. I for one (being very idealistic) is still a firm believer of having a soul mate. I know in my heart that I will find my soulmate in this lifetime. I know that we promised to meet no matter how many lifetimes we will have. A promise that we will fall in love over and over again….

So my advice for you…. Go on and take the plunge!
Fall in love! ….. this is what life is all about!

A Look At The Real Me....

2011-03-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

... a compilation of some of my videos...

The Michelle Villas Experience......

2011-02-28T03:36:00.000+08:00

our 1st photo on the day we 1st met

My mind has been so cluttered with so many worthless negative thoughts for the past weeks now, that I realized I've forgotten to count my blessings lately. So now, instead of obsessing with those worthless thoughts, I've decided to once again fight and stand up by being thankful for the many blessings which I have. Forget about material things... my treasures are the people around me who make my life complete.

Today, I'd like to feature one of my treasured friends. I’d like to write about her for the simple reason that I’m proud to have her in my life. My life is not just about the things I do or how I feel…. My life is mostly about sharing it with others and I am honored to be surrounded by genuine people like this special girl.

I remember one night around March 2010, when buddy Frank told me about her bestestfriend Michelle Villas. I remember him telling me he knows we’d get along well. He said she was also a bit intimidating like me hehehehe. I was really excited to meet her! And as predicted by Frank, we did gel… pretty much like soul sisters! We both love eating, cooking, chocolates, cheese and a whole lot more! She has a sweet tooth like me however, I feel worried whenever there’s cola nearby. Hehehehe

goofing around somewhere at the Fort

I love her a lot! I love everything about her! No wonder many people love and consider her a bestfriend. Kindhearted, generous, sensitive and responsible… she’s one of those people whom I never wanna see crying because only a foolish person would make her do so. I do have a lot of friends and she’s one of those few whom I wanna protect.

Whenever we would have our “girl talks,” I feel we both relate to each other a lot. Like me, it ain’t difficult for her to express her mind. I feel relieved whenever I confide to her.

girl talk moments! hihihi

Each opportunity to bond with her is a gift indeed. She’s always game to goof around! I treasure our photos a lot, not to mention our hilarious videos! How nice it is to be with people whom you feel at home with. We may have our own different taste on a lot of things but I guess like in all lasting relationships… the bond which you share is strengthened by love and respect which you have for one another. I may say she has this way of making people feel comfortable.. making you feel “YOU!”

the beauty queens

She’s indeed blessed to have such a loving family, and I also feel honored to be friends with all of them. I appreciate the fact that they treat me as a part of their family. I have spent very memorable weekends with them. Sometimes I wish I had a family that is as ideal as theirs. All of them are very kind and caring. What I like most about them is that they always manage to stick together and spend time together… something which only very few families enjoy.

meet the Villas!!!

having a fun time with the Villas sisters!

the Bestest of Friends

With a person as genuine as her, I’m certain that she’s gonna have a great future ahead. I’m actually excited on how successful she’s gonna be. I believe in her because I believe you can never let a good person down. She may have her own set of insecurities (like everyone) but I know she’ll overcome them in time. Anyway, if in case she’d feel down, I’d like to be there to give her a reassuring hug to let her know that everything will be ok. I know I may not be beside her sometimes but I do would like to assure her that my love and support will always be there and that she’s always included in my thoughts and prayers.

I love my Mareng!!

Mich, you are perfect and very beautiful! You are a gift to mankind! Always believe that! Thank you for the laughter, tears and great memories together! I treasure you a lot. You have made my existence worthwhile. My wish for you aside from having a healthy body is that may you have confidence in yourself more for many people believe in your potentials. Thank you very much for being very very supportive to me and to everyone. I look forward in making more great memories with you!

When It Feels So Right...

2011-02-23T03:34:00.003+08:00

It sure feels great to see how you've progressed over time especially when you really worked hard on it.

and the journey goes on..

I am someone who believes in hard work, determination and discipline. This is what my mom taught me at an early age when she started exposing me into arts and music. Dad (being an architecture major) taught me calligraphy (the art of writing characters) and exposed me into drawings. Mom on the other hand allowed me to freely explore my world and exposed me to learn music as early as 9yrs old. Different art forms, different disciplines. I learned the value of patience, how practice really makes perfect and never give up! I have learned how having proper discipline can make you really stand out among others. I learned on how to be meticulous and analyze every detail and know the things I need to know.These are the valuable lessons I've learned due to my exposure to the arts so I don't agree when others say that art and music are useless subjects. In fact, I would advice you all to expose your kids to these activities not just for the exposure but for their character's development as well.

Anyway, it's been almost a year now since I started learning photography. Believe me, never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself to be into this art. I was always contented with music that I never thought about trying other things. I may say I sort of boxed myself and limited myself to the things which I was comfortable with. Well, the universe really works in mysterious ways. If it's bound to happen, then it really will no matter how you try to twist stories or events.
Now that I'm at my 10th month in photography, honestly, I am very much proud of the progress I have made. I'm not claiming to be a pro or what 'coz I know that I still have a lot to learn but I do believe I have the right to express my views. Hopefully this will also inspire my other contemporaries as well.

expanding my horizons

Think and Feel---

First of all, I think about my shot, what I want and how I'd like to present it. Whenever I take still photos, I think ahead and visualize the actual shot in my head. It may sound weird but yes, that's what I do. Probably that's the reason why I'm good at composed shots~~~ it's because of the concept that I have already visualized in advance. An artist is a visionary. We are the ones who paint the future. When it comes to candids, I also have to think ahead and sort of tell my brain to look out for the expressions which I wanna capture. It really requires a lot of thinking. I've always believed that artists have bionic brains so you really have to have the brains for it, not just the heart.

I'm sure you've heard about "gut feeling" or "instinct." After I've decided what my subject is and how I wanna present it, the next thing is all about waiting for that precise moment. For some, they call it the pulse, but for me, instinct. Most of the time I shoot by instinct. There are times where I tell people, "ok don't move!" then I get my cam right away and click! I know it sounds weird but it really happens. I dunno how to explain it! I just know it. It feels soooo right! Every cell of my body tells me so, and when this happens, I respond. For portraits perhaps a sudden change of vibe/aura and for still life, the perfect light, setting and background. I may describe these moments as miraculous I believe for these only happen once and I'm very blessed to have captured them. Beyond the rules and technicalities... I know beauty when I see it. Plain and simple.

Here are some examples...

I was simply at awe during this time... this is a rare scenery so I had to capture it

I was drawn to the serenity of this site.. a perfect description of my longing to have peace of mind.

I got curious with the amount of footprints which I witnessed. I knew I had to capture this before the wind blows.

It may look boring for others but very symbolic for me... how would you interpret this?

still remains to be one of my all-time favorite photos... I am deeply drawn to the feeling it conveys.

This is just magnificent. I love everything about it. I see it as a work of art.

When it comes to food, I capture it in a way like how I wanna eat it. I select an angle where I feel the food looks most delectable.... When my tummy starts to growl.. then it's time to click on the shutter! hehehe

Don't you feel you just wanna put it in your mouth now?

an array of cakes.... this site reminds me of my childhood

Don't you just wanna put your finger in it and lick that icing? I feel like a kid again!

It just felt so right.. I was at the right place at the right time.

Paula here had no idea on how to pose until I saw her making this gesture then I told her to freeze

A candid shot at the airport.. it felt so right again!

They were just fooling around during this shot when I saw this moment... for me it looks artistic. I love the light which touches her face

Awwww... this is a very emotional candid shot. Definitely worth a thousand words. A picture of what I want my future to be... a simple happy life beside the one I love.

I know I was supposed to join them during the prayer but when I saw this site, I just had to capture it. gut feeling again. The result: A solemn genuine moment

I asked them to whisper to ones ear and this is what I got.. a genuine smile, a romantic moment

I'm pretty good at breaking rules. My point here is that, the face is not the only part which tells a story.

The story behind my fondness with half faced portraits... I feel that the person becomes more interesting with this composition. It's like I as the photographer introduces you to her, then it's up to you to make an effort to truly know her. There is this mystery factor which you need to unravel. It reflects a lot about myself. I may look as though my life's an open book, but there are so many things which I don't disclose.

always keeping both feet on the ground...

I'm glad that I'm able to apply my background in art with every picture. I tend to be very emotional with my shots. yeah! I'm an emo photographer! hahaha I have to be.. because I have to use my emotions in order to send the message across to you. I'd like you to feel my shots and see how I view the world around me. My aim is to reveal truth in the most artistic way possible. I'd like to show you how beautiful the world is and how lucky you are to be alive. I'm so thankful for the gifts I have. I'm thankful that God made me an artist. No matter what people say about artists as being just a bunch of penny less mortals, I'd still wouldn't choose any other life. This is who I am and I accept it with all humility.

Cooking with Madame CEO....

2011-02-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

Let me show you how it's done...

A Message from Yours Truly...

2011-02-14T22:15:00.002+08:00

That's All

2011-02-08T22:40:00.001+08:00

Dear you know who you are....

I can only give you love that lasts forever
And a promise to be near each time you call
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone

That's all
That's all

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter's night

That's all
That's all

There are those I am sure who have told you
They would give you the world for a toy
All I have are these arms to enfold you
And a love even time can't destroy

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small
Say it's me that you'll adore
For now and evermore

That's all
That's all

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small
Say it's me that you'll adore
For now and evermore

That's all
That's all

A Reboot......

2011-01-31T00:57:00.000+08:00

..... like you, I also have my down days.... Days wherein I would have constant headaches and wished that I had nothing to do.
Days where I couldn't get any inspiration no matter how hard I try. Artist's block as what they call it. I've been experiencing this for some weeks now.... been wanting to clear my head... a reboot! Of course, I just didn't sit around and wait... instead, I said yes
to what dear universe had to offer.

This weekend I got invited by Frank's family to join the 10th birthday celebration of Blashnel at their place in Montalban. I knew it was gonna be a grand experience as always as their family has been really really nice to me eversince I met all of them last year. What do I think of them? Cooler than cool!! One of the coolest families I know. I've known some of them from my childhood days no wonder I feel at ease with them. They seem to be very fond of my antics and the kids are so fun to play with! With them I'm not ashamed of the crazy things which I do (they even seem to like them). I feel very at home and safe.... I can be myself. Another thing which I really like about them is that they are all very polite and humble. I hope they realize how fortunate they are for having such a happy home. I'm sure many people
would die to have that kind of clan. I am very much honored and blessed to be welcomed by them.

I may say, their place is pristine perfect! It may lack some of the basics for now but frankly speaking, it didn't
really matter, for having them all around plus the fantastic sceneries are more than enough.

My new favorite adobo by Ate She

a very tasty pancit canton

Ate She slicing Joewel's special Maja Blanca

Paypi and the birthday girl Blashnel!

Beans aka: Junatan

the resident loony intruder from the taliban land of Abu Ridu

makes me feel relaxed...

climbing our way to their place

Lana and JingJing

every minute cherished...

Rhea has been really really nice to me since I met her.

another spectacular view

yours truly while realizing how cold the water is....

father and daughter bonding

Blashnel with Pipay

Goofing around with Paul

and Beans of course!

I'm blessed to have been there to capture this moment. I knew I was at the right place and time.

today's drama: a crazy terrorist! lol

me with my hostage! ahahaha I love this little lady a lot! she acts well too! lol

meet the uncle of the century... Frank

my new chum Julie

Badeth doing her thang!

it just felt sooo right!


Uncle Frank strutting his stuff....

and here is the masterpiece

a moment

a product of smart cropping...

priceless....

This place has given me the fresh air and inspiration which I have been searching for. It made me
wanna take meaningful photos once again. I can feel my instincts working more and I can now feel the shots as I click on my shutter. This place made me feel like I'm no photographer but more of
a storyteller. Yes, a storyteller! When I sing a song, I tell a story. When I write songs and lyrics.. I tell stories.
I write articles and tell tales.
When I take photos, I also make more and more stories. My life has been all about telling tales of people and mine.

Photography is but only a part of the other forms of self expression which I'm into.
I may not have recovered from these migraines yet but at least I have filled myself with much gladness.

Honestly speaking, there are also times wherein I wish
I was never an artist so that I can live a more simple life... Sometimes I wonder why some people tell me
how much they wanna be more like me. .. couldn't help but think if my life is really that "ideal" to be
idolized by some.... My life, like yours has its own yins and yangs which we all need to balance to achieve harmony.

hhmmm I guess the only thing which sets me apart from other women is that I'm one of the few females who live with conviction. I have somehow learned not to be threatened by the stupid norms which are still very much clouding the society. I've achieved a balance in a sense that, I see myself as a very modern and liberated woman and at the same time choose to be very conservative in many many ways. I guess I'm not that liberated at all due to my conservative principles and morals which I always defend.
I'm not saying I'm the best but I do know that

I'm perfect the way I am... like you!

So my message to those who wanna be like me, thank you for choosing me as your ideal person but please don't ever dare to be like me because I'd like you all to be yourselves instead.. like what I did! =)

You can only be yourself so might as well, invest your energies in developing your gifts rather than being someone you're not. Do your own thing... Cast you own spells and discover the gem in you.

As for my finale this weekend, I'd like share to you what I had for lunch as sort celebration for surviving yet another chaotic week. It's more than just food for me... it's basically fried fish with red sauce and cheese... but to me it's more of a symbol of something good which I deserve.

Peche Parmigiana: this week's reward

Overall, I'm still very much thankful for everything around me.

May you all have a great week ahead!!

It Must Be The Hormones....

2011-01-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

I dunno.

I just don't feel like I'm myself this week.
A lot of things in my head and unexpected events.. I find it hard to focus.
I feel this urge to vanish for a while and take a closer look
at the progress (if any) that I've done so far.

No fancy topics this time. Sorry

I just wanna be myself and be human...
.. it has been a while since I last tasted my own tears..
I know this is just a passing thing...
I just wanna acknowledge the pain..
No more asking why...

I've got so many things to do...
Projects are piling up..
My mind bursting with so many ideas
... but can't seem to find the means and the people
to help me accomplish them.

Funny how people can change in such a drastic way.
... that you cannot even fathom how you were
able to live with them for so long.
It's sad to see how they have evolved as monsters...
.. and at the back of my head, I'm wondering if I had something to do with it.

I feel alone...
Though I have much love that surrounds me and much activities
to do.... a part of me still is screaming from within.
Sometimes, I enjoy solitude and there are also times wherein
I wanted a little comfort. Part of human nature...

Sometimes I wanna breakaway from certain people
whom I know are not really supporting me but are only
rubbing elbows with me because of the little influence which I carry.
I have identified all of them by now...

I'm tired of being used...
My creative ideas.. oftentimes stolen from me..
... with no one to defend me.

If only I was rude enough to give them the finger and
say "FUCK YOU!" at their faces..
.... nah! I wasn't raised that way.
It's not queenly. =)

How do I feel now? I feel like a late bloomer...
I feel I missed out on a lot and I'm just starting my life again..
It's the morning of my life. I just wanna do the things which I failed
to do before.

Sometimes I even feel like taking a vow of silence
and keep things to myself....
... and try not to see and talk with people for a while...
... and be forgotten....

... this I have yet to learn.

I don't wanna walk this lonely street anymore...

V-day Suggestions.....

2011-01-25T20:22:00.006+08:00

photo by Mangored

It seems that many people have been asking me about some Valentine's Day gimmiks.

Am I a love guro? hahahha it's really weird! Probably because I'm known for my creative ideas that's why people usually seek my advice. I've decided to write it as early as now so you may plan way ahead!

It feels a little awkward because I myself don't really have someone to share this special day with but I do wish I'd get invited by someone though.

Honestly speaking, V-day isn't really that big for me coz showing your love to someone doesn't really need a special day.. you can do it at any day as often as you please. But anyway, ok ok due to insistent public demand, I've listed down some of my simple and practical ideas for V-day!

1. Manila Bay Sunset Cruise
    - I must say, I've been dying to experience this for years but no one has invited me yet.
      A romantic dinner, sunset bay cruise and serenade for only 550php per head is a sure
nice way to show love to your partner. Better book early! http://www.corregidorphilippines.com/mbc.html

2. Your very own Photo shoot
    - Invite your favorite photographer to shoot pictures of you. With the rise of hobbyists all over the country, I'm sure you can find someone whom can capture and immortalize those precious moments. If you don't know any... ehem ehem... I can always offer you my services! *wink* wink* www.majicanimayo.blogspot.com

3. Kiss him/her in the morning a soon as he/she wakes up and eat breakfast in bed!
    - I find this gesture very sweet. I believe it'll be much more sweet if you cook breakfast yourself. It doesn't really need to be fancy. It may some pancakes, fruits, cereal, bacon and eggs or even the classic silogs would be perfect!

4. A handwritten Love letter.
   - I believe in effort! I believe that handwritten letters are very very personal and nothing beats any gesture or gift with a personal touch for it makes the person feel very special. Feel free to be very creative with your letter! Just make sure that everything you write there is true ok? And please try not to copy from the internet.

5. Bake some Valentine Cookies!
   - These are really cute! Cookies are also very easy to make and you can be very creative with your designs. If you don't know how to bake, try visiting ArtCakes at your nearest SM Malls and take a look at their cookies and cakes!

6. Stay home and simply spend the day together!
- Hotels and restos will surely be fully booked during this day and when both of you have nowhere to go, I believe spending it at your own home would be best! You can do lots of activities at home like cooking a special dinner. Buy a nice bottle of wine and some chocolates to kick it up a notch! It also won't hurt to grab some blooms for her! Romantic movies are lame so I suggest watch a really hilarious film to catch some good vibes!

photo by Mangored

7. Romantic Dinner at Bellini's!

patiently waiting for the one =)

- I believe that this is a romantic place to dine! Nuf said! Try a glass of their sweet red wine, pizza, pasta and antipastos!It's located at the Cubao Expo.

If you noticed, I didn't suggest any getaways or expensive tours... I guess I just wanna prove that you don't need to spend a fortune just to show someone how special they are.

Also my friends, V-day isn't about giving expensive stuff. If you can afford it, why not? Go book yourself a room with a very own jacuzzi inside. You may find one in Laguna for sure!! There are many resorts there! Or you may both get a couple's massage at your favorite spa like the Nurture SPA in Tagaytay

Whatever you may decide to do, enjoy it! Cherish it! Takes pictures!

No matter how extravagant or practical the celebration is... it all boils down to the 2 of you!
Just have a damn great time! As long as both of you are together..... any place will be perfect! *sigh*

For me, I dunno... I don't really have any concrete plans yet.But if you were to ask me, I'd definitely prepare a nice dinner for 2 and spend the night just talking while holding hands... and wait until I fall asleep in his arms! Beat that! AWWWWWW somebody stop me!

Also, do yourselves a favor and please DO NOT quarrel on this day ok?

Hope you liked me suggestions and please feel free to add more ideas which you have in mind!